Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JUNE 22 - 28, 2009
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PEOPLE
Bill Maher Calls Obama a “Lindsay Lohan”
“No way,” say Lohan, Obama.
 
POLITICS
Born-Again Family Values GOP Senator from Utah Admits
Affair with Married Staffer

Then announces he's re-born-again.
 
MILESTONES
Magic Fingers Vibrating Bed
Inventor Dies at 92

He'll be buried in another of his inventions, Magic Fingers vibrating coffin.
 
 
BUSINESS
U.S. Inflation Held in Check
By fact nobody buying anything.
Administration Promoting “Cash for Clunkers” Program
Works like this: trade in old clunker, get $4500 towards new clunker.
SCIENCE
Same-Sex Behavior Found in
Nearly All Animals

Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Microbe in Greenland Ice Wakes
Up After 120,000 Years

Looks around, goes back to sleep.
 
New Research Suggests Orangutans May Be Our Closest Relatives
Promises much livelier Thanksgiving dinners.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study Links Breast-Feeding to
Higher Grades, College Entry

Once in college, however, they do much worse.
FDA: Zicam Nasal Spray Can Cause Loss of Sense of Smell
Also, stay away from Zicam Eye Drops, Zicam Mouth Rinse, Zicam Erectile Cream.

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