Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JUNE 29 - JULY 5, 2009
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PEOPLE
Rep. Bachmann: Census Could Be Used to Put People in Internment Camps
Her thesis: census takers hired by ACORN identify God-fearing patriots, report them to liberal authorities who arrest them or have them thrown in a wood-chipper or, in her case, examined by a team of psychiatrists.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Oscars to Double Best Picture Nominees to 10
Five for Best Buddy Picture, five for Best Chick Flick.
 
PUBLISHING
Book: Great Works of Literature Reduced to Tweets
Cliffs Notes reduced to three syllables.
 
BUSINESS
MySpace to Lay Off 30% of Staff
As sexual predators migrate to Facebook.
Mafia Thriving While Global Economy Collapses
Milton Friedman sleeps with the fishes.
SCIENCE
 35,000-Year-Old Flute Earliest Sign Stone Age Man Played Music
It had apparently been smashed over someone's head, then crushed with a stone.
Finally: Proof Water-Filled Martian Lake Existed 3.4 Billion Years Ago
High-resolution photo of deep chasm (shown) reveals ancient shoreline, beach area, boat rental and snack stand.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
  Kaiser Permanente Releases
“Risk of Death” Chart

If your weight is normal and you're feeling fine you should see your doctor at once.

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