Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – AUGUST 3 - 9, 2009
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NEW PRODUCTS
Sex Toys for Dogs Debut
Not shown: leg toy.
 
EDUCATION
Penn State Edges University of
Florida as Top Party School

By a keg.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Texting Raises Crash Risk
23 Times in Major Study

Based on drivers' texted answers to researchers' questions.
 
SPORTS
Boastful, Narcissistic Superstar Gets Own Cereal
T.O.’s Honey Toasted Oats contain "all the vitamins and minerals you need to grow up to become a boastful, narcissistic superstar."
FEATURE
A study has proven that “arm-swinging is an integral part of the energy economy of human gait.” This proves that:
A )the metabolic rate of arm swinging is relatively better than not arm swinging.
B )the torque and rotational twist muscle energy expenditure of arm-swinging is less than expected.
C )it’s amazing what studies get funded.
Hint: and this one wasn’t even about sex.
 
TECHNOLOGY
Military Debunks Rumor It's Developing Flesh-Eating Robot
Automated armored vehicle, impervious to enemy attack, would operate indefinitely by feeding on battlefield corpses, according to Internet rumor worth spreading.

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