Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – AUGUST 17 - 23, 2009
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PEOPLE
Sotomayor Changes Personality of Court
Adds one wise Latina to six grumpy whites, one grumpy black, one wisecracking yenta.
Cheney Memoirs: Bush Didn't Listen to Him, Became “Soft”
Rejected his suggestion to “have Sen. Leahy whacked.”
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Porn Industry Faces Severe Cutbacks
Many writers let go.
 
BUSINESS
U.S., UBS Settle Out of Court in Tax
Secrecy Case

Terms of settlement secret.
Swiss Bank Reveals Names of Americans Hiding Money There
To see if you’re on the list, go to www.ofcourseyourenotonthelist.com.
GM: New Chevy Volt Gets 230 MPG
In test drive from top of Pike’s Peak to Denver.
SCIENCE
Huge “Plastic Patch” in North Pacific Studied by Oceanographers
And lawyers from packaging industry.
Scientists Close to Creating
Computer With Human Brain

All they need is a volunteer.
 
Orangutans Able to Build, Play Musical Instrument
However, humans can download orangutans' music for free and make as many copies as they want.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: High Fat Diet May
Make You Stupid, Lazy

But you might be stupid, lazy anyway.
Two Daily Chocolates Cut Risk for Heart Attack Survivors Threefold
So four daily chocolates would probably cut risk sixfold, right?
New Study Finds No Benefit From Exercise, Dieting
Did somebody say McDonald's?

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