Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – SEPT 28 - OCT 4, 2009
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PEOPLE
Pee Wee Herman Returns After Long Hiatus
He's nine now, in dog years.
Michael Moore's Indictment of Capitalism Opens Strong
Director “having second thoughts” after seeing weekend box office receipts.
 
MEDIA
Google to Print Digital Books as Paperbacks
Part of company's secretive Regressive Technology unit.
 
BUSINESS
Honda Shows Off “Personal Mobility” Vehicle
For short trips where a pogo stick won't do.
Most Consumers Say Financial Meltdown Permanently Changed Spending Habits
Until they can get next credit card.
Banks Battle Regulation
As Stifling “Innovation”

Like packaging bad debts into highly leveraged derivatives and selling them off for non-existent profits.
SCIENCE
Good News: Probes Confirm
Water's Presence on Moon

Better news: we may not have to recycle our urine after all!
Scientist Predicts Immortality
Possible Within 20 Years

But you won't be able to afford it.
 
School Drinking Water Contains Toxins
Students advised to drink soda.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Uninsured 40% More Likely to Die
“More likely to die” now considered pre-existing condition.
Parents Urged to Let Kids
Walk to School

After checking sex offender database.
FDA Bans Sales of Candy-Flavored Cigarettes
Lifts ban on sales of tobacco-flavored candy.
Those Who Suffer Brain
Injury in Crash More Likely
To Survive If Drinking

And not be so upset by crash.

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