Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – DECEMBER 21 - 27, 2009
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THE YEAR IN PICTURES
 
All Passengers Safe After Plane Ditches in Hudson River
No one missed connecting flight.
 
Woodstock Marks 40th Anniversary
Shown: couple whose parents attended.
 
Pole Dancing Robots Hailed as Cybernetic Breakthrough
Lack of sales blamed on bad economy.
 
Air New Zealand Shows All-Nude Safety Film
And still nobody watches.
 
Odd Fly Found Near Hadron Collider
Absolutely no connection, says CERN.
2009
 
Lingerie Football League Holds Tryouts
Those with most football talent sent home.
 
Portrait of Obama Made Out of Breakfast Cereal Draws Crowds
Most of them hungry.
 
Guinness Drops World's Longest Fingernails Category
“Someone could lose an eye.”
 
Neo-Druids, Neo-Pagans Gather at Stonehenge
Providing neo-news story for neo-news networks.
 
Psychedelic Style Returns
Mostly in funeral industry.

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