Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – MAY 31 - JUNE 6, 2010
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INTERNET
  iDump4U Website Popular
With Two Constituencies

People stuck in bad relationships and those suffering from constipation.
Facebook CEO Vows to
Beef Up Security, Privacy

Apologizes for exposing 400 million users' most intimate information to anyone who cares to see it for as many years as the Internet continues to exist.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Study: Today's College Students
Lack Empathy

An unintended consequence of “No Child Left Behind.”
New Computer Algorithm Recognizes Sarcasm 80 Percent of Time
Yeah, right.
 
SPORTS
Venus Williams Wows Crowds at French Open
Before being ousted in fourth round.
FEATURE
Which of the following is not included in the new directives to the textbook standards issued by the Texas Board of Education?
A )Students must learn to evaluate efforts by global organizations like the United Nations to undermine U.S. sovereignty.
B )Students must be able to discuss alternatives regarding long-term entitlements such as Social Security and Medicare, given the decreasing worker-to-retiree ratio.
C )Textbooks must emphasize the extent and danger of Soviet agent infiltration of the U.S. government in the 1950’s.
D )Students must be able to evaluate the threat to Christian values posed by the aggressive intentions of the government of Mars.
Hint: Never underestimate Mars.
 
CORRECTION
 
In last week's edition we reported that "deadly tomatoes strike Oklahoma." It should have read "deadly tornadoes." We apologize for this egregious typo.

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