Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JANUARY 24 - 30, 2011
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PEOPLE
Berlusconi Denies Wrongdoing
Says he didn't know the teenage prostitute he didn't have sex with was underage at the time they didn't have sex.
 
MEDIA
Fed Okays Comcast Purchase of NBC
Gains control of Conan's masturbating bear, among other assets.
 
BUSINESS
$4 Gasoline, $5 Coffee Predicted
Some may choose to take bus, drink gasoline.
Goldman Sachs Reports
53% Drop in Earnings

Send your check to: Goldman Sachs, 200 West Street, New York, NY
10282.
Starbucks to Debut 31-oz
“Trenta” Cup Size

Trenta means “far too much” in Italian.
SCIENCE
Scientists Find New Life Forms in Unexpected Places
For instance, the back of your refrigerator.
Kangaroos Originated in South America
Island hopped to Australia.
 
Researchers Successfully Test Tiny Remote- Controlled Ingestible Capsule
Pill packed with camera, transmitter and three miniaturized researchers, one of them beautiful.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: 129 Million Americans Under 65 Have Preexisting Conditions
They all suffer from delusions.
Study: Education Helps Slow Dementia
And vice versa.

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