Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – SEPTEMBER 19 - 25, 2011
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TECHNOLOGY
Heinz Introduces Ketchup Packet That's Easy to Open
Breakthrough compared to cold fusion.
Latest Phone App: Button That Sends Out Message: “Iíve Been Arrested!”
It's a hit in Syria.
Pentagon Developing Drones
That Can Identify, Destroy
Targets on Their Own

Would eliminate element of human guilt.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Dutch Woman Calls Ex-Boyfriend 65,000 Times
Ex-boyfriend busy watching the game.
Japanese People Have Turned Over $48 Million in Found Cash to Police After Tsunami
Just as we would do here.
S&P Cuts Italyís Bond Rating
Berlusconi forced to slash spending on teenage prostitutes.
FEATURE
Wyatt Earp was:
A )a gun rights defender, whose efforts to defend the rights of citizens to bear arms led to the Gunfight at the O.K. Corral.
B )a gun control advocate whose efforts to make Tombstone less dangerous for peaceful citizens led to the Gunfight at the O.K. Corral.
C )a guy who became famous for having a really weird name.
Hint: well, he did have a weird name, but think, “Check your guns at the door, gentlemen.”
 
SPORTS
NFL: Players Accused of Faking Injuries During Game
And parking their cars in handicapped-only spots.

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