Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – OCTOBER 17 - 23, 2011
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NEW PRODUCTS
A Futuristic Toilet That Does it All!
Besides opening and closing automatically, it wipes and cleans you, then updates your Facebook page with new revealing pictures. It does everything but recycle your urine as lemonade, which is extra. $6400, at Sitting Pretty.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Seattle Superhero Placed Under House Arrest
He'll be confined to his fortress of solitude for 90 days.
Outcry Over Lollipops Shaped Like Marijuana
People thought they'd get high.
 
SPORTS
Baseball Playoffs Produce Big Winner
Maker of rally towels.
What is this?
A )Latest odds for various countries to win the World Cup.
B )Ratio of religious fanatics to everybody else.
C )People who believe they will be visited by aliens from another planet.
D )Ratio of pay of CEO to average worker.
Hint: you get partial credit by choosing all of the above, but the research on the economics has already been done.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
World's Most Expensive Dessert Costs $34,000
Just don't swallow the $33,995 diamond.

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