Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – OCT 31 NOV 6, 2011
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MISCELLANEOUS
Most Powerful H-Bomb in US Arsenal Dismantled
By a crack crew of mechanics who are sure-handed and, if the situation calls for it, can run fast.
Three-Eyed Fish Discovered Near Argentinian Nuclear Facility
“It's just life imitating art,” chuckles plant's spokesman.
 
EDUCATION
Americans Now Owe More on Student Loans Than on Credit Cards
More research on subject must be done by grad students in hock up to their eyeballs.
 
CRIME
Woman Stabbed Boyfriend Over Alleged Monopoly Cheating
Went directly to jail, did not pass Go, did not collect $200.
 
TRAVEL
Boeing Dreamliner Impresses Airlines After Maiden Voyage
First commercial jet designed to charge extra for pillows, blankets.
FEATURE
What is this?
A )Cheerleader mascot who appears at college football games.
B )Corporate mascot hired to appear at company picnics
C )One of several DHS mascots hired (annual cost: $2.6 million) to appear at family friendly outreach events.
Hint: Your tax dollars at work!
 
SPORTS
Golf Makes Changes to Some
Ancient Rules

For one, players will no longer be required to dress like a Florida retiree.
 
PICTURE OF THE WEEK
Europe's Attention Turns to Italy in Debt Crisis
Italian Parliament (right) begins debate.

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