Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JUL 23 - 29, 2012
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POLITICS
Snooki Endorses Gingrich
He asked her to wait until after he dropped out.
Romney: President's Policies Have Hurt Job Creators
Record high corporate profits could have been higher; record low corporate tax rates could have been lower.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
No Sign of Alien Life in Released British UFO Files
Skeptics say it would be easy for advanced extraterrestrial intelligences to remove files pertaining to their visit here, leaving those who've seen UFOs to appear as loveable oddballs or incurable drunks.
 
TECHNOLOGY
In Development: Small, Unmanned Drone That Can Fly Indefinitely
Capable of carrying really cool teeny-tiny nuclear weapons.
Robot Wins at Rock, Paper, Scissors 100% of Time
But consistently loses at love.
Mitt Romney has refused to release his tax returns before 2010. What might he be hiding?
A )He never paid his taxes before 2010.
B )He made over $1 billion in 2003 and got a refund.
C )He claimed his dog Seamus as a dependent.
D )He's got untold millions hidden in Switzerland, Bermuda and the Caymans.
Hint: The dog died twenty years ago.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Fillibuster Considered an Abomination by Progressives
But if Romney wins and Republicans take Senate, could be best thing since sliced bread.
Study: Viewers Turning to YouTube as News Source
Prefer getting information from piano-playing cat than Diane Sawyer.

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