Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – AUG 20 - 26, 2012
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PEOPLE
Ryan Voted Biggest Brown-Noser in High School
Unlike Romney, who was voted Biggest Bully.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Gitmo Prisoners Reportedly Big Fans of “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air”
Many learned to love show after being forced to watch it constantly, without sleep or food.
Porn Star Jenna Jameson Pleads Guilty to DUI
Apparently endorsed Romney while intoxicated.
 
BUSINESS
Ryan Promises to Eliminate Deficit By Closing Unnamed Loopholes
Same loopholes Romney used in last ten years of undisclosed tax returns.
SCIENCE
CO2 Emissions in U.S.
Drop to 20-Year Low

Not including CO2 released by massive wildfires resulting from global warming caused by previous emissions.
India Plans 2013 Mission to Mars
200 yogis will project selves across astral plane, explore planet, return to their bodies.
Mutant Butterflies Discovered Near Damaged Fukushima Nuclear Plant
“They're beautiful!” says plant spokesman.
 
Big Surprise: Google Earth Satellite Photos Reveal More Pyramids
Bigger Surprise: Google “street view” reveals thousands of visitors.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Medicare “Donut Hole”
Not Tied to Heart Deaths

Actual donuts, however, are.

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