Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – DECEMBER 10 - 16, 2012
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PEOPLE
Romney Rejoins Board at Marriott
He'll help them pare their workforce.
86-Year-Old Hugh Hefner Getting Married to 26-Year-Old
When he's 100 she'll be forty, at which point he may start looking for someone younger.
 
MEDIA
Fox Drops Karl Rove, Dick Morris
They're immediately signed by Satan News Service.
 
BUSINESS
Apple Says It Will Make Some of
Its Products in U.S.

And move thousands of Chinese workers here.
WalMart Deemed Safety
Improvements to Bangladeshi
Factory “Not Financially Feasible”

Deemed financially feasible: insurance to cover material losses in case factory catches fire and kills 112 workers who can't escape due to lack of safety improvements.
SCIENCE
Our Universe May be Just One of Infinite Number of Universes
If so, all contracts stipulating “throughout known universe in perpetuity” would have to be renegotiated.
Icebergs Scoured Florida
During Ice Age

Say some long-time residents.
 
Voyager Probe Encounters Unexpected Magnetic Highway at Edge of Solar System
Where Planet Earth is just an obscure roadside attraction.
 
TECHNOLOGY
North Korea Says it Plans Launch of Satellite Into Low Earth Orbit
Last one ended up in extremely low earth orbit, underwater.
New Technology Will Project Data Onto a Contact Lens
Allowing you to stare into the eyes of your dinner companion while reading a suggestive text message from someone at another table.

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