Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JANUARY 7 - 13, 2013
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PEOPLE
Conservative Mormon Senator Mike Crapo Arrested for Drunk Driving Makes Never Being Arrested Again for Drunk Driving His New Yearís Resolution
Gambling, whoring must wait until 2014.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Motion Picture Academy
Switches to Online Voting

This year, Adam Sandler will receive Lifetime Achievement award.
 
BUSINESS
World's 100 Richest Individuals Got $241 Billion Richer in 2012
Great news for those who sell Fabergť eggs.
Starbucks Will Have 20,000 Locations by 2014
Including the one across the street, the one on the corner, and the one in your living room.
SCIENCE
Confirmed: Asteroid Won't
Hit Earth in 2040

Thirty-year mortgages once again available.
 
Two-Billion- Year-Old Martian Rock Found in Sahara Desert Has Traces of Water
Enough to get a camel to Morocco.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
FDA Drug Approvals Hit
New High in 2013

Half to cure ills caused by other half.
Good News: Moderately Overweight Have Lower Death Rates
Bad news: there is no bad news.
 
RELIGION
Church of England Votes to
Allow Gay Bishops, But Only
If They Remain Celibate

Donít ask, donít tell replaced by look, but donít touch.

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