Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – FEBRUARY 4 - 10, 2013
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PEOPLE
Hillary Clinton Says She's Done With Politics
Makes tearful farewell address at gathering of Hillary '16, her new super PAC.
 
MEDIA
Report: Sarah Palin Paid $15.85 Per Word in Two Years on Fox News
When she asked for $16.50 they fired her.
New York Times Reveals It's
Been Under Attack by Chinese
Hackers for Last 4 Months

Apologizes for inscrutable crossword puzzles.
Fox News Ratings Hit 12-Year Low
Part of decline in scripted comedy vs. reality programming.
 
BUSINESS
Dolce & Gabbana to Launch New Fragrance for Babies
Eau de Merde available soon at fine stores everywhere.
CONSUMER NEWS
Company Can Make 3D Personalized Pez Dispensers of Your Own Head
Minimum order 1000.
Toyota to Pay $1.1 Billion to Settle Some Sudden Acceleration Suits
Also, vehicles will no longer be allowed to make driving decisions without driverís consent.
 
SCIENCE
Report: Heat Rising Up From Cities Affects Climate Patterns Far Away
A barbecue in Houston can cause typhoons in southeast Asia.
Report: Cats Kill 3.7 Billion Birds,
20.7 Billion Mammals Annually

But if cats were outlawed, only outlaws would have cats.
 
ENVIRONMENT
England Announces It
Won't Sell Forests

To the great relief of Robin Hood.

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