Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JUNE 17 - 23, 2013
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POLITICS
Jeb Bush: “Immigrants are More Fertile”
Especially when denied birth control.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Universal Theme Parks Will
Offer Rich Chance to Skip
Ahead in Lines, For a Price

Because we wouldn't want them to have to experience what life is like for the rest of us.
 
BUSINESS
Yippies' Building Foreclosed
By yuppies.
Letter From Chinese Slave Labor Camp Smuggled Out in Halloween Decorations Discovered by Customer Who Bought Them From Kmart
Also discovered: letter from underpaid worker at Kmart store where it was sold.
Construction Resumes on Largest U.S. Home, Dubbed “Versailles”
That and several guillotine startups clear signs of improving economy.
MEDIA
Palin Returns to Fox News
Swallows return to Capistrano.
 
SCIENCE
Eight 3,000-Year-Old Boats
Discovered in England, One
Still Floats

They've been sold to Carnival Cruise Line.
Study: Female Birds Prefer Males Who Are Good Dancers
And pay for dinner.
2.6 Billion-Year-Old Water
Discovered in Canada

Scientists add Seagram's, declare experiment a success.
 
Evolutionary Geneticists Blame Menopause on Men's Preference for Younger Women
Blame men's preference for younger women on lingerie ads.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Surgical Robot Faces Series of Lawsuits
Will be defended by robotic attorney.

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