Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – OCTOBER 14 - 20, 2013
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PEOPLE
Weighing Campaign Finance Law, Scalia Says, “I Don't Think $3.5 Million is a Heck of a Lot of Money”
Barely enough to buy a Congressman.
Alice Munro Wins Nobel Prize for Literature
But Canadians have unfair advantage because all they do is play hockey, write fiction.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Nielsen Introduces New Rating System to Measure Audience for TV-Related Conversations on Twitter
The Banal-O-Meter.
 
BUSINESS
JP MorganChase Reports Rare Quarterly Loss
Bank forced to wear old clothes, skip some meals, live in car.
SCIENCE
Space Station to Get 3-D Printer
To Make Parts, Tools

And new life forms.
 
Mars Rover Sends Back High-Resolution Image of Penny Covered in Martian Dust
So far it's found $1.49 in small change.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Report: Chicken Nuggets Less
Than 50% Chicken

More than 50% nugget.
Study: Sprite Best Cure for Hangover
Just add gin.
 
POLL
60% Say Fire Every Member of Congress
Except theirs.

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