Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – OCTOBER 21 - 27, 2013
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PEOPLE
Arnold Schwarzenegger Mulls Challenge to Law Preventing Him to Run for President
Known as the Don't Be Ridiculous law.
Cheney Says He Feared Terrorists Would Hack His Defibrillator, Kill Him
Told his chauffeur to never drive near falafel stands.
Michelle Bachman: We're in God's End Times
Offers herself as evidence.
 
BUSINESS
Boeing Repeatedly Charged
Army for New Helicopter Parts,
Installed Old Ones

Parts “new to them,” explains company spokesperson.
Bad News: Shutdown Cost $24 Billion
Good news: sales of Dr. Seuss soared.
SCIENCE
Study: Oreo Cookies More
Addictive Than Cocaine

Next up: Oreos vs. Mallomars.
Survey: 10% More People Are Gay Than Admit It, 10% Are More Biased Against Gays Than Admit It
Most who are secretly gay, also secretly biased against gays.
 
New Skull Suggests Homo Habilus, Homo Rudolfensis, Homo Erectus Same Species
After DNA testing, Homo habilus, Homo Rudolfensis owe Homo erectus millions of years unpaid child support.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Binge-Drinking Gene Discovered
By coterie of binge-drinking scientists.
 
ENVIRONMENT
Sea Level Could Rise Three Feet by 2100, Climate Panel Finds
Panel urges panel's headquarters be raised four feet.

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