Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JANUARY 20 - 26, 2014
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PEOPLE
Roger Federer Wins Again
Hasn't lost since switching to new racket.
Arkansas Lieutenant Governor Resigns Over Ethics Violation
No, he didn't marry his sister.
 
BUSINESS
Federal Court Overturns Net Neutrality
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Amazon Patents “Anticipatory
Shipping” That Will Ship Items
Before They've Been Ordered

Patent pending on “anticipatory billing” that bills you for something you didn't order, don't want and can't return.
New York: Store's Display of
Mannequins With Pubic Hair
Causes Stir

Brooks Brothers apologizes.
 
SCIENCE
Study: No Difference In Happiness Between Those Who Have Children and Those Who Don't
Everybody equally miserable.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Google Working on Smart Contact Lens
It won't be long before we'll be able to make a phone call with our retina while browsing the Internet with Google Glass while watching a movie on our smart phone while driving.
Surgeon General Report:
Cigarettes More Dangerous
Than Previously Thought

Urges smokers switch to marijuana immediately.
 
NEW PRODUCTS
A $50,000 Jewel-Encrusted Pacifier for the Trust-Fund Baby Who Will Have Everything!
Oral gratification for less than a year's tuition at pater's alma mater, who says the rich don't have it better? Well, no one actually, but they do have money. Price as stated, at all Last Days of Rome boutiques.

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