Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MAY 19 - 25, 2014
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PUBLISHING
Rush Limbaugh's Rush Revere and the Brave Pilgrims Wins Children's Choice Book Award
Tells true story of courageous patriot who, while high on Oxycontin and getting hassled by airport security about his penis pump, saves our Founding Fathers from Feminazis.
 
BUSINESS
Talk of “Global Wealth Tax”
Worries Superrich

Could force them to seek tax shelters on other planets.
Maker of Botox Rejects
Takeover Bid

With no apparent emotion.
Grand Theft Auto Maker Tops Forecast for 1st Quarter Earnings
Car thieves spending more time gaming, less time stealing cars.
SCIENCE
Musk: Ticket to Mars Will
Cost $500,000

$395,000 for coach.
“Biggest Dinosaur Ever”
Discovered in Argentina

Announcement timed to coincide with world-wide opening of Godzilla.
Great Red Spot on Jupiter Shrinks Dramatically
Strong environmental regulations credited.
 
ENVIRONMENT
Antarctic Glaciers Melting
Could Lead to 15-Foot Rise
In Sea Levels in California

Now's the time to buy beachfront property in Nevada.
 
TRAVEL
Airlines Now Charging Extra for Reclining Seats
Say sitting up in rigid upright position for 11 hours good for your back, builds character.

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