Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JULY 7 - 13, 2014
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PEOPLE
Pope Gives Exorcists His Blessing
But tells them, “don't quit your day job.”
 
BUSINESS
EU to Start Counting Drug, Gambling, Sex Transactions as Part of GDP
Instantly transforming current “stagnant economy” into “robust era of prosperity and growth.”
Dubai Reveals Plans for World's Largest Mall
Hopes to attract teenagers from all over globe.
Mattel Unveils Entrepreneur Barbie, Complete With Smartphone, LinkedIn Account
And an idea for a startup that will appeal to boys.
SCIENCE
Spain: 50,000-Year-Old Poop
Reveals Neanderthals Were
Not Strict Carnivores

Nor did they clean up after themselves.
Shark Population Surges After
Years of Conservation Efforts

Now they'll act as an effective control mechanism to limit growth of human populations near beaches.
 
NASA Successfully Lands Saucer- Shaped Vehicle
Once operational, it will hover over swamps in Mississippi.
 
International Space Station to Get Espresso Machine
Along with some artisanal Tang.
Genetically Modified “Super
Bananas” Ready for Human
Testing

After apes fed “super bananas” take up chess, fencing, poetry.

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