Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – SEPT. 22 - 28, 2014
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MEDIA
Netropolitan, Social Network for Wealthy, Debuts
If you ask how much it costs, you can't join.
 
BUSINESS
China Fines GlaxoSmithKline $492 Million in Bribery Case
Bribes not big enough.
J. Crew Offers New Size for
Women With 23-Inch Waists

And no interest in breathing.
Angry London Mom Returns Barbie That Says “What the Fuck”
Everywhere else, Potty Mouth Barbie selling like hotcakes.
People Begin Forming Lines for Apple's Next Product
“Whatever it is,” says one.
SCIENCE
Study Shows Liberals, Conservatives, Smell Different, Each Prefers Same-Smelling Partner for Sex, Romance
Lone exception: James Carville, Mary Matalin.
Stephen Hawking Says Higgs-Boson Particle Could Cause Space-Time to Collapse
Other than that, no cause for alarm.
DARPA Testing Plane With Star Wars-Like Laser Cannon
Cannon works great acccording to observers, but “sound effects suck.”
 
ENVIRONMENT
August the Hottest Month
On Record

April still the cruelest month.

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