Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JANUARY 5 - 11, 2015
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PEOPLE
Prince Andrew, Alan Dershowitz Named by Woman in Suit Alleging They Forced Her and Other Underage Girls to Have Sex With Them
Dershowitz (shown) vehemently denies charge, calling himself “studmuffin who could have any woman on the planet.”
 
BUSINESS
Uber Offers Tips for Not Getting Sexually Assaulted by Its Drivers
Starting with: walk, drive yourself, take a cab.
400 Wealthiest Net Worth $4.1 Trillion, According to Bloomberg Billionaires Index
400 poorest net worth $4.01, according to Bloomberg Paupers Index.
 
NEW PRODUCTS
At Last, a Beer for Dogs!
Now your best friend can pop open a cold one with you and eat all the snacks. Coming soon, seasonal ales for pooches. At Tipsy Tails.
SCIENCE
New Research Finds Early Hominids Ate a Varied Diet, Not Just Meat
Apparently fries, shakes, desserts as well.
 
Large Hadron Collider About to Be Turned on Again
Buckle up.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Bad Luck Causes Most Cancers
Finding a doctor who can cure you mostly good luck.
 
LIFESTYLE
Map Shows Per Capita Alcohol Consumption by Country
Data gatherers for map went on a bender in Russia, but eventually returned to finish their work.

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