Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MAY 4 - 10, 2015
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PEOPLE
Warren Buffett: “I Donít See Smiles on the Faces of People at Whole Foods”
Makes comment after Berkshire Hathaway's purchase of Good Humor.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Studio Considers Greenlighting Project Not Based on Comic Book
Hopes audience will accept characters that lack superpowers.
 
BUSINESS
NFL Gives Up Its Tax-Exempt Status
No longer America's official religion.
Audi, Amazon in Deal to Have
Packages Delivered by Drone
To Car's Trunk

Designed primarily for hostages with an Internet connection.
Anheuser-Busch Removes Bud
Light Slogan, “The Perfect Beer
For Removing 'No' From Your
Vocabulary For the Night”

Since corporations are legally persons, it is arrested for rape.
SCIENCE
Study: Global Warming
Threatens 1 in 6 Species

Including global warming deniers.
 
Amazon Launches Own Rocket
Will eventually deliver books, clothing, small appliances to space station.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Government to Allow Fluoride Levels in Drinking Water to Drop
As it's already achieved its goal of converting Americans to communism.
Study of Polygamists: More Wives You Have, More Risk of Heart Disease
No wives, no risk.
 
CONSUMER NEWS
Only 17% of Automobiles With
Safety Recalls Brought in For
Fixes, According to Reports
In Business Sections

Only 17% of newspaper readers read business sections.

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