Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – OCT 31 - NOV 6, 2016
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PEOPLE
New Edition of Shakespeare Gives Christopher Marlowe Partial Credit for Several Plays
Marlowe's descendants sue for $150 trillion in royalties.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
NFL Hopes Fans will Return to Watching Games After Election
Instead of taking up arms.
 
BUSINESS
Good News: World Economic Forum Predicts Gender Pay Gap Will End
Bad news: in 140 years.
AT&T Agrees to Buy Time Warner for $85 Billion
Would return AT&T to “pre-breakup behemoth that ruled all mankind,” according to deal memo.
Arby's Offering Venison Sandwich
And for kids, there's Bambi on a Bun.
SCIENCE
Study: Marijuana May Help
You See in the Dark

Like when the power goes out and you can't find your stash.
Using Mathematical Formula,
Astronomers Find Messages
From 234 Alien Civilizations

All offering free rectal exams.
 

Amazon Obtains Patent for Tiny Police Drones
They'll help police plant guns, drugs, other evidence on suspects.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Women Drinking as
Much as Men

They've broken glass ceiling, probably in a brawl.

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