Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – DECEMBER 5 - 11, 2016
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TECHNOLOGY
Google's DeepMind Reads Lips Better Than Human Lip-Readers
Warning: In near future, everything you say will be held against you.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Prince Harry Announces “Royal Household Hospitality Scholarship” to Serve Royal Family
Recipient will help them get dressed, tie their shoes, chew their food, and so on.
 
NEW PRODUCTS
Nike Unveils the First Self-Tying Sneaker!
Pre-orders for this breakthrough footwear are pouring in from young and old, but mostly old, who relish the idea they'll never have to bend over again before going out for a vigorous workout. $720, at Sitters World.
FEATURE
President-elect Trump has had nice things to say about a number of foreign leaders. Which one of the following has he not praised?
A )Rodrigo Duterte of the Philippines
B )Nawaz Sharif of Pakistan
C )Nursultan Nazarbayev of Kazakhstan
D )Kim Jong Un of North Korea
Hint: Trump hasn't met Dennis Rodman yet.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Italy: World's Oldest Person, 117, Never Eats Fruits or Vegetables
She only eats birthday cake.

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