Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JANUARY 9 - 15, 2017
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PEOPLE
Trump, Daughter Meet With Dubai Billionaire, Close Deal on Golf Club, Luxury Villas
And maybe a dozen F-35s for his kingdom, “if he's nice to us.”
 
SOCIAL MEDIA
Trump to Keep Using Twitter
For All Major Announcements

Will speak directly to nation on matters of grave importance — like Rosie O'Donnell.
 
TECHNOLOGY
Experts: High-Tech Household Appliances Could Be Very Helpful Witnesses in Future Crime Cases
Even more so in divorce cases.
IBM Developing Robot to Help Elderly Age at Home
If robot tips over it's programmed to say, “I've fallen and I can't get up.”
SCIENCE
Unusual Radio Bursts Traced to Faraway Galaxy
Already ruled out: sneaky promo for new Star Wars movie.
Study: Chimps Will Pull
Lever if They Get Peanuts
As Reward, Not if Peanuts
Go to Other Chimps

Lead researcher refuses to share credit for study with other researchers.
Unveiled at CES: Augmented
Reality Porn Connected to
Vibrating Sex Toys

For use in your self-driving car while vaping hydroponically grown legal weed delivered by drone from Amazon.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
New Guideline Reverses Old Guideline: Feed Your Toddlers Peanuts Early and Often
And let them play with small plastic objects that are easy to swallow.
 
POLITICS
Report: Hillary May Run
For Mayor of New York

De Blasio welcomes "Crooked Hillary" to race.

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