Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MAY 15 - 21, 2017
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PEOPLE
Jimmy Carter Reveals He Voted for Bernie Sanders in Primaries
“I liked what the kid had to say,” he explains.
 
SOCIAL MEDIA
Facebook Hiring Thousands to Remove Videos of Violent Crimes From Website
And replace them with ones of kittens.
 
BUSINESS
Trump, Speaking to The Economist, Says He Invented Phrase “Prime the Pump”
Later, speaking to Gourmet, says he invented phrase “pass the salt.”
Capitol Hill's $1 Trillion Spending Deal Doesn't Include $50 Million for Huge Wall
Around White House.
TRAVEL
American to Offer Free
Meals in Economy Class
On Selected Flights

Hopes it will cut down on fistfights.
New VIP Terminal at LAX Has
Video Screens Showing Crowds,
Long Lines at Other Terminals

Said to boost VIPs' sense of privilege while they wait.
 
SCIENCE
NASA Turns Down Trump's Request to Place Astronaut on Test Flight of Massive Space Launch System
Also tells him, “a man of Mr. Comey's height would not be eligible.”
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Trump's USDA Chief to Add More Salt, Fat to School Lunches
Also, will revive Reagan's definition of ketchup as a vegetable.

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