Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JULY 3 - 9, 2017
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TECHNOLOGY
New Bar in Las Vegas Features Robot Bartenders
And driverless designated drivers.
Silicon Valley Startup Employs Pizza-Making Robot
It's already made friends with the delivery drones.
 
EDUCATION
Betsy DeVos Dumping College
Policies Proven Effective

After gathering as much bad advice as she could.
 
SPORTS
Drug Lance Armstrong Took
Proven Ineffective

He'll sue to get his money back.
Activists Upset Washington Redskins Keeping Their Name
Native Americans upset they're keeping their quarterback.
FEATURE
Disneyland will soon replace women being put on an auction block in Pirates of the Caribbean ride. What will be the replacement?
A )Women being abducted by pirates to do their household chores.
B )Women being chased down by pirates seeking their political opinions.
C )Women being groped by a fat, rich, powerful bully.
Hint: with orange hair.
 
MILESTONES
25th Amendment Marks 50th Anniversary
Celebrations to include invoking it.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Taco Bell Marrying Couples in Las Vegas for $600
Fatburger offers quickie divorces for $295.

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