Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – SEPT 24 - 30, 2018
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CONSUMER NEWS
Amazon Introduces Its Own Wall Clock
First offering from their new Luddite Division.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
In Newport Beach, CA Per
Capita Income Equal to Price
of Porsche 911 Carrera

“But not the Carrera S,” laments one resident.
 
TECHNOLOGY
Google CEO: Internet Will
Split in Two by 2028

Humans using one, robots the other.
 
EDUCATION
Texas Eliminates Hillary
Clinton, Barry Goldwater,
Helen Keller From Its
Textbooks

To make room for “winners.”
 
FOOD
Maine Restaurant Sedates
Lobsters With Marijuana
Before Cooking Them

Giving new meaning to “lobster pot.”
FEATURE
What is This?
”What happens at Georgetown Prep stays at Georgetown Prep, [laughter] and that's been a good thing for all of us, I think.“
A )Evidence offered by city of Las Vegas in copyright infringement case against Brett Kavanaugh, 2016.
B )Address to Brett Kavanaugh's freshman class by President of Georgetown Prep.
C )Video of Brett Kavanaugh speaking at his alma mater in 2015.
Hint: Las Vegas doesn't care, and the President of Georgetown Prep isn't stupid.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Russia: Putin Shows Off Sniper Skills Firing Kalashnikov Sniper's Rifle
Observers claim he hit eight out of ten political opponents at long range.

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