Ironic Times

page one
PAGE THREE – APRIL 1 - 7, 2019
page two

MISCELLANEOUS
Researchers Extremely Interested in 71-Year-Old Woman Who Has Never Experienced Pain, Fear or Anxiety
She's also never read a newspaper, watched television, or sat in traffic for three hours.
Revealed: Family That Owns Krispy Kreme Doughnuts Has Nazi Past
And future heart trouble.
 
TECHNOLOGY
Artificial Intelligence Can
Now Write Fiction

Already working on The Great American Algorithm.
 
EDUCATION
Stanford Beats Out Harvard, Yale, With Lowest Admissions-to-Applications Rate of 4.2%
Better weather, say experts.
 
SPORTS
NFL Expands Use of Replays
To Include Pass Interference,
Blindside Blocks

And wife-beating.
FEATURE
How much does it cost to hire a professional test-taker to take the SATs for your kid so he or she can be accepted at Harvard?
  A ) $20,000.
  B ) $200,000.
  C ) $2,000,000.
Hint: if you have to ask, you can't afford it.
 
SPACE
NASA Scraps All-Female
Spacewalk Because “Spacesuit
Is the Wrong Size”

“Makes me look fat,” says astronaut.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Pope Filmed Repeatedly Pulling His Hand Away From People Trying to Kiss His Ring
Says he's lost three rings this month.

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
   Copyright 2019 Ironic Times