Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – APRIL 16 - 22, 2007
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NEW PRODUCTS
  Motorola Patents Smellophone
Soon you'll be able to smell the person you don't want to talk to.
World's First Driverless Car Goes On Display
Developed as alternative to public transportation.
 
INTERNET
New Web Browser Uses Surfing Patterns to Reveal Personal Info
By the way, your deluxe boxed set, “The Films of Pauly Shore,” shipped Thursday.
 
SPORTS
Not Enough Snow for Season Openers
Team Skiing fans had to go home disappointed.
102-Year-Old-Woman Hits Hole-in-One
Says she'll try to qualify for men's over-100 tour.
FEATURE
10 Good Things About the Bush Administration

1) Has caused many Americans who don’t normally follow public affairs to pay closer attention.

2) We’ve learned a lot about habeas corpus, including how to spell it.

3) Know more now about the complex interaction between money and politics.

4) Crash course on military science in asymmetrical warfare.

5) Chance to reevaluate the world press, compare and contrast with ours.

6) Fresh look at words like "accountability," "responsibility."

7) Fresh look at phrases like "enemy combatant," "classified information."

8) Extended experiment showing the effect of religious faith on science, government.

9) Test of our system of laws when put under extreme pressure by lawbreakers in the highest levels of all three branches of government.

10) General excitement about the yet-to-be-answered question, "Can we survive a direct assault by our own leaders on our liberties?"

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