| POLITICS |
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Bachmann Wants to Reconsider
Minimum Wage
To help us compete with sweatshops
overseas. |
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Minnesota Government Shutters;
Can't Issue New Hunting Licenses
Residents fear moose glut. |
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| SPORTS |
|
NBA, NFL Heading
Toward Lockouts
To prepare, strip clubs hire more
staff. |
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Dodgers File for Bankruptcy
Will change name to "L.A.
Bums." |
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NY Times
Sells Half of Stake in Red Sox
To raise money for revival of "No,
No Nanette." |
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| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
 China
Opens World's Longest Bridge
Takes more than tank of gas to
cross. |
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| TECHNOLOGY |
|
Twitter Hits 200 Million
Tweets Per Day
And still: nothing worth reading. |
|
 Vatican:
New Popemobile Will Be a Hybrid
Also: smoke used to announce next
pope will be replaced by L.E.D.
lights. |
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| ODDS 'N' ENDS |
|
 Guinness:
Woman Has World's Largest Natural
Boobs
Finishes distant second to woman
with world's largest enhanced
boobs (not shown). |
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| KIDZ KORNER |
| Vocabulary
Builders |
| nuanced adj.,
evasive, muddled, contradictory,
as in "the candidate's
position on same sex marriage is
very nuanced." |
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