| PEOPLE |
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 Pat Boone:
Obama's Birth Certificate Fake
Former pop star, who made millions singing
bland, sanitized cover versions of black artists'
recordings, says document's inauthentic. |
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| BUSINESS |
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Forbes: Cumulative Wealth of 400
Richest Americans Rose Last Year to
$1.53 Trillion
Cumulative wealth of 400 poorest Americans
fell to $1.53, according to Poor Richard's Almanac. |
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Meg Whitman Takes Over at HP
Will cut costs by hiring illegal nannies. |
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 Amazon Accused of
Inhuman Conditions at Pennsylvania Warehouse
Not only is building hot, poorly ventilated, but workers
forced to write glowing reviews of products in off hours. |
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| ENTERTAINMENT |
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“Dancing With the Stars” Returns
Replaces Republican debates. |
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| SCIENCE |
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Neutrino Clocked Traveling Faster
Than Speed of Light
Result contradicts Einstein, all known scientific
theories, but consistent with several episodes
of “Star Trek.” |
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 NASA Probe
Spots Foot Trails Left on Moon by Apollo
Astronauts
Evidence proves humans were once on
the Moon. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Lost Sleep Causes Average American
$2,280 Each Year
Most of it lost worrying about the $2,280. |
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| KUDOS |
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Twenty-Two MacArthur Genius Grants
Awarded
You would have heard by now. |
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