| PEOPLE |
 |
 Chris
Christie to Head White House Commission
on Addiction
Including heroin, opioids, alcohol,
gambling, eating . |
|
| |
| MEDIA |
|
Cable News Channel Ratings Soar
as Trump-Russia Crisis Grows
Trump watching more than ever. |
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
Silicon Valley Millionaires
Seek Immortality
Once achieved, they'll take out reverse
mortgages. |
| |
| ENTERTAINMENT |
|
 Cast of
Reality Show Emerges From Wilderness to
Find Show Cancelled Eight Months Earlier
Eight months of inane arguments, stupid spats,
and two broken marriages “wasted,” says one. |
|
|
| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Low Gas Prices Blamed for
6% Spike In Highway Deaths
More people driving, thinking about how much
money they're saving just when impact occurs. |
| |
| SCIENCE |
| |
 Atomic Clocks
Combine to Provide Most Precise Measurement
of Relativity Yet
Unfortunately, finding submitted for next
year's Physics Nobel just .0000000003 seconds
late. |
|
|
| |
| CORRECTION |
|
 |
| |
Last
week, we identified the women pictured
next to Bill O'Reilly as co-anchors on his
weekly show. In fact, they're the women
who sued him for sexual harrassment and won
a $13 million settlement. We regret the error. |
|
