Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – MARCH 5 - 11, 2018
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  UK: Royal Mint Issues Set of 10-Pence Coins Honoring British Icons
Due to time it takes to design, cast, and mint them, half the coins feature icons accused of sex crimes.
Millennials Fattest Generation in History
Even fatter than Biggest Generation (1895-1915).
Kellogg's Introduces Limited Edition Unicorn Froot Loops
For a short time you can add five grams of sugar to your kid's daily diet.
Lehigh University Faculty Votes to Rescind Honorary Degree Awarded to Trump
If he wants a degree he'll have to earn it.
  Former spokeswoman Hope Hicks said she's told occasional white lies for the President, but never lied about anything connected to the Russia investigation. Can you tell the difference between a white lie (W) and a more substantial one (S)?
  1.     He loves his wife, Melania, deeply. W S
  2.     He never met Stormy Daniels. W S
  3.     He didn't collude with his dear friend, Vladimir Putin, to win the 2016 election. W S
  4.     He never met with Russian prostitutes, and if he did, he never asked them to pee onto a bed in front of him. W S
  5.     The crowds for his Inauguration were the biggest ever! W S
  6.     He never called them “shithole countries.” W S
  7.     He would have attacked that crazy killer with the military assault rifle at the Florida high school by rushing him, unarmed, and taking him out with his bare hands. W S
  8.     He will build his wall, and Mexico will pay for it. W S
  9.     When the stock market rises, it's because of him, when it falls, it's somebody else's fault. W S
  10.     He will bring all those manufacturing jobs back to the rust belt. W S
  11.     He will rescue coal. W S
  12.     There were many “fine people” among the white nationalists who marched in Charlottesville. W S
  Grades: 1 or less White Lies: A, 2 White Lies: C, 3 or More White Lies: F.  

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