Ironic Times

NO. 18 "Expect the Ironic" JANUARY 15 - 21, 2001

Jan 8
Jan 22
LOW-KEYED TRANSITION AT UNITED NATIONS
Secretary General Richard Gere succeeds Kofi Annan; no major changes planned.
 
WORLD NEWS
"No Chance for Peace in Middle
East," Says Albright
Then says, “Oops, maybe I shouldn't have said that.”
Chinese Leaders Call Book's Account of Tiananmen Repression "Unkind"
Author shot.
African Cholera Outbreak Trails "Mad Cow" Disease in Media Appeal
Needs catchy name, better location.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
NEW BUSH COIN UNVEILED
Worth 80, designed mainly for tipping.
U. S. NEWS
Bush: “No More Skeletons
In Closet”
Says he checked, saw “nothing but coats and a few ties.”
New York City to Pay $50 Million for Illegal Strip Searches
But expects to make it back “ten times over” through sale of strip search videos.
American Cell Phones, Cigarettes Selling Well in Third World
All other exports down.
Van Morrison to Perform at Bush Inauguration Show
Will be kidnapped, hypnotized.
Chavez: “I'm the Victim of a
Witch Hunt”
Angered, leaves Washington on a broom.
 
HEALTH/MEDICINE
Philip Morris to Sell Crack
Cocaine to Adults Only
Health warnings will be displayed on packs.
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