Ironic Times

NO. 21 "Expect the Ironic" FEBRUARY 5 - 11, 2001

Jan 29
Feb 12
PUNXSUTAWNEY PHIL SEES SHADOW, PREDICTS 6 MORE WEEKS OF WINTER
Also high unemployment, recession, war in Middle East.
WORLD NEWS
Barak, Arafat Stuck on UN Elevator Three Hours, Reach Agreement
Both agree “they should fix that thing.”
Bin Laden Spotted at XFL Game
Seen leaving during halftime of Hitmen-Outlaws contest.
 
REMINDER
When eating cafeteria food, always check for thumbs.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Fox Announces "Programming Island"
Show will pit network executives against rats.
Buñuel, Gide, Dali Shows in
the Works at Networks

"Surreality TV" a hedge against reality shows losing appeal.
 
U. S. NEWS
Presidential Charm Offensive Continues
Lawmakers get nicknames, noogies, wedgies.
Johnnie Cochran Pleads for Puffy
“If the crime don't rhyme, you must give no time.”
Bush Giving Religious
Groups More Authority
Plans to turn Air Force over to Hadassah.
Kennedys Watch "13 Days" with Bushes at White House
Later, Ashcroft stops by to watch “Birth of a Nation.”
New First Lady Finds Thong Stuck to Back of White House Dryer
Static electricity is to blame.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS
Queen Mum Back at Palace After Bungee Jumping Mishap
Slight ankle strain won't curb busy schedule.
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