Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE - NOVEMBER 12 - 18, 2001
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MILESTONES
Jane Goodall Takes the Plunge
Ties knot in private ceremony in Africa.
 
ODDS AND ENDS
Detroit Man Victimized by
Infamous Name

Al Qaeda, owner of Al Qaeda's Terrorist Supplies, is “sick and tired” of all the attention.
Shift in Earth's Orbit
Surprises Scientists

“But I guess we shouldn't be surprised by anything anymore,” says one.
 
TRENDS
Americans Turning to Comfort Food, Saccharine Homilies, Pop Culture
Turning away from healthy meals, intelligent discourse, fine art.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
2000 Election Results Finally
Made Official

Gore won.

The Afterlife
by Earl Wilson

Had to stop in Hell for a pack of cigarettes the other day when who should I run into but Mohamed Atta, working the counter at the only 24-hour convenience store down there. After I got my pack of Luckies I told him I hope his former boss joined him soon. He laughed, before being disemboweled by something I never hope to see again.


The BW loved the new stage show at the Mocambo Room. Pitting Xavier Cugat against Arturo Toscanini in a "Battle of the Bands" is pure p.r. genius. Sitting within gunshot of each other: Frank Nitti and Bill "Hopalong Cassidy" Boyd.

The original Lassie (a girl!) wants to be remembered to the current Lassie(also a girl!), her great-great-great-granddaughter. That's Oyl, brother.


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