Ironic Times

NO. 62 "Expect the Ironic" NOVEMBER 19 - 25, 2001

Nov 12
Nov 26
 
U.S. BEGINS MASSIVE AIRLIFT OF BARBERS TO AFGHANISTAN
Gillette, Schick donate equipment.
 
WORLD NEWS
Northern Alliance Forces Take Kabul,
Kandahar, Baghdad, Paris, Miami

Situation is “fast-moving, fluid,” says Pentagon.
Bush, Putin Agree to Reduce
Nuclear Stockpile

Will sell off warheads to interested parties.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
NEW GAME CONSOLES MAKE THEIR DEBUTS
Nintendo's GameCube, Microsoft's Xbox promise better speed, graphics to “really make it seem like you're blasting somebody to smithereens,” says a spokesman.
U. S. NEWS
United Airlines Putting Stun
Guns on All Planes

Will help passengers get better, faster service
High Court Rules Against
Victims of Identity Theft

Opinion written by somebody posing as Justice Ginsburg.
White House: There's a Very Good Reason for Government Secrecy
But it's a government secret.
 
REMINDER
   Don't forget to pass the gravy over    here when you're done with it.
 
Bush Will Name Justice Dept.
After Robert Kennedy

And Dept.of Interior after Marilyn Monroe.
 
BUSINESS
Philip Morris to Become Altria
New name meant to “obscure the fact that we make the world's number one killer of men, women and children,” says a spokesman.
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 Copyright 2001 Ironic Times