Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO - NOV. 26 - DEC. 2, 2001
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HIGH TECH
Sony Introduces Latest Stocking Stuffer
Robotic lap dancer retails for just under $25,000.
 
BUSINESS
Truth-In-Advertising Law Forces Shake-Up in Magazine World
Modern Bride becomes Modern Bridesmaid, Popular Mechanics becomes Geek Week, and Fortune becomes Yeah, Right.
Versatile Contraceptive/Nicotine
Patch Goes on Sale

Protects against unwanted pregnancy and desire for cigarette after sex.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Florida Court Okays "Choose Life" License Plate
Available for a few dollars more: "Choose Life or We'll Kill You."
10 THINGS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT OSAMA BIN LADEN
1. His radical beliefs in college earned him the nickname “Loony” bin Laden.
2. Osama is 6'5" and briefly played backup small forward for the Albany Patroons of the Continental Basketball Association.
3. The family fortune was made in recycling. They were known as the Recycling bin Ladens.
4. Osama's a terrible poker player and owes Taliban leader Mohammed Omar more than ten million dollars.
5. From 1979-1982 bin Laden played Bozo the Clown on Bozo's Circus, WGN-TV in Chicago.
6. Bin Laden was once married to actress Inger Stevens.
7. Osama has six toes on each foot.
8. The 39th of 51 children, Osama suffered from the fact that his father could not remember his name.
9. He suffered even more from the fact that his mother could not remember his name.
10. During his “jaded” period as a rich playboy, he was known as Osama “bin there, done that” Laden.

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