Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE - NOV. 26 - DEC. 2, 2001
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PEOPLE
Prince Charles Gets Poked in Eye for Charity
Winner pledges 300 for chance to poke the Prince in the peeper.
 
SPORTS
Bonds Wins Record 4th Most
Valuable Player Award

Also wins record 16th Most Unpopular Player Award.
NBA: Clippers' Odom Says He Experimented With Marijuana
“It is a potent hallucinogen with minimal side effects, derived from the hemp plant, cannabis sativa,” he reports.
 
POLITICS
Congress Back
In Session

“We've got a lot of work to do,” says Senate Minority Leader Trent Lott (right).
HOLIDAY SHOPPING GUIDE
The Latest High-Tech Gadgets
An all-in-one pager-phone-fax-shredder-laser pointer-taser-global positioning satellite system-alarm clock-flashlight-blow dryer from Megatronics. This versatile little handheld is a lifesaver if you happen to be lost in some unknown territory and get attacked at night by a late-rising white collar criminal having a bad hair day.
The Memory Eraser from ForgetItTech does only one thing, but does it very well, with no negative side effects, save the occasional missed appointment and birthday party.
Meet the new "Pen" from Parker. The geeks in our lab had never seen anything quite like it. It took them several tries before they figured it out, but once they did they couldn't stop using it. Next week we'll review an amazing new product that serves as a rewritable tablet along the lines of Apple's failed Newton, but this one really works! It's called "Paper."

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