Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO - JULY 22 - 28, 2002
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PEOPLE
Angelina, Billy Bob Marriage Kaput
She caught him exchanging vials of blood with another actress.
Relationship Expert Dr. Phil
Accused of Polygamy

Claims he's "just doing research."
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Liza in Talks With VH1 for Own Weekly Reality Show
Series would chronicle her growing dependance on alcohol and pain-killers as her sham marriage dissolves and she checks into the Betty Ford Center.
 
BUSINESS
Stock Analysts Revise Ratings for Companies Under Investigation While Being Sued, Going Bankrupt
Downgrade from "strong buy" to "buy."
 
Train Carrying Poisonous Gases Completes Successful Test Run
All clear for transfer of nuclear waste to Nevada.
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Many Men Receive Aggressive
Treatment for Prostate Cancer
They Don't Have

Claim they're getting it "up the wazoo."
British Doctor Murdered 215 Patients
Highest number outside an HMO.
More Knowledge of Health Risks Leads To Longer Life, More Worry
Older generations had no idea how unhealthy they were, died sooner, worried less.
 

Scientists Create Big-Brained Mice
Super-intelligent mice free other mice, destroy data, set fire to lab.
 
SCIENCE
Alaska Glaciers Melting, Sea
Level Rising a Lot Faster
Than Previously Believed

Imminent danger to luxury coastal property draws attention of White House.

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