Global warming is ruining hockey . . . I love the way they fake injuries in soccer . . . Don't buy any "Roy Hobbs" autographs on eBay – they're forgeries . . . I miss listening to XFL games on the radio . . . There are some players I'd pay not to see, although none come to mind . . . Baseball will never catch on in Japan . . . Always check the date on your ticket . . . Have you noticed how many ballplayers wear hats these days?. . . If I coulda hit the ball, instead of it hitting me, I'd still be playing . . . Note to kin: I want to be frozen like Ted Williams, then cremated . . . If "The Splendid Spelunker" does come back, I'd throw him some high heat . . . Strike or lockout? Let me know your preference.

(The views expressed by Fred "Beanball" Smith are not his own.)