Ironic Times

 NO. 114 "Expect the Ironic" NOVEMBER 18 - 24, 2002 

Nov 11
Nov 25
 
BUSH ACHIEVES SAINTHOOD
Vatican counts election victory in 2000, current high approval rating as miracles.
WORLD NEWS
Study: Iraq War Could Kill 500,000
But will keep gas prices at reasonable levels.
Saddam Look-Alike Met With
Bin Laden Sound-Alike in
City Resembling Prague

Proof of linkage, says Cheney's double.
 
LAW
Supreme Court to Hear Internet
Porn Filtering Case

Justice Thomas vows to personally examine every X-rated site on the web.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS
More Trouble for Royal Family
Buckingham Palace toilet cam had gone undetected for three years.
U. S. NEWS
Sperm Count Lower in Rural Areas
Finally some good news for Democrats.
Greenspan: Economy Will Be Fine
However, he asks to be paid in euros.
Analysts Say Conflict Inevitable
Most pick Defense Department over State Department in short, brutal war.
 
REMINDER
     History is written by the winners,
     and translated for the losers.
 
Linguist Shortage Hampers
U.S. Intelligence
Few Americans speak Pashto, Farsi, or English.
Teen Says Video Game
Inspired Crime Spree

Game maker will incorporate teen’s crime spree in next edition.
 
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