Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JANUARY 19 - 25, 2004
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PEOPLE
Pete Rose Wins Pulitzer Prize
For fiction.
ENTERTAINMENT
NBC to Start New Season in August, Instead of September
Will cancel new shows in November, instead of December.
Malaysia's Muslim Clerics Object to Mariah Carey Concert in Kuala Lumpur
Demand she be replaced by Britney Spears, or Beyonce.
Many Honored at Celebrities'
Choice Awards

Winners all voted for themselves.
 
BUSINESS
White House Proposes New
Presidential Council to Give
Industry Greater Voice

Will replace redundant Cabinet.
Kodak to Stop Selling Film Cameras
Will begin selling apples.
SCIENCE
NASA Withholds Some Mars Pictures
Fears they might not be suitable for all members of the family.
Study Concludes British
Workers More Productive
When Allowed to Gossip

News spreads like wildfire.
 
“Cold Laser” Used To Slice Cheese Without Burning It
Researchers hope breakthrough technology can be applied to baloney.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Researchers: Psychopathic
Killers Show Positive Attitude
Towards Violence

Next: a study of victims' attitudes towards violence.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS
Report: All Airline Passengers
Color-Coded for Security

Green (standard checks) means passenger is white, well-groomed, no facial hair; yellow (additional scrutiny) means passenger is foreign-looking, swarthy, bearded or ruddy complexion; red (prohibited) means passenger is a rock musician.

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