Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – NOV 27 - DEC 3, 2006
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PEOPLE
Cheney “Ashamed” of Himself
Admits cooking evidence that led to war.
 
MEDIA
Nielsen to Establish Ratings for Internet
List of top 1 billion sites will be published weekly.
 
BUSINESS
Sales of Existing Homes Fall
Sales of imaginary homes rise.
Pizza Hut Calls Test of Medium-Range Missile a Success
Capable of reaching Domino's corporate headquarters in less than thirty minutes.
2007 Auto Show Models Go On Display
Shown: latest blonde, with new car in background.
SCIENCE
Genetic Breakthrough Reveals
Many Distinct Differences
Between Humans

Contradicts official White House position that we're either “good” or “evil.”
Good News: Penguins
Returning to South Pole

Bad news: they're cartoons.
Researchers Create Edible Cotton
Breakthrough means that one day you'll be able to eat your socks.
 
HEALTH
Study: Bathing in Red Wine Reduces Risk of Heart Disease
And loneliness.
 
CORRECTION
 
Last week, in an article about a controversial science exhibit featuring preserved human cadavers in familiar action poses (above), we misspelled the word formaldehyde.

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