Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – DECEMBER 17 - 23, 2007
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PEOPLE
Bush Solves Rubik's Cube
Takes him two weeks.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Writers Strike Turns Ugly
Shown: picketers outside Warner Bros. restrained by security guards.
 
BUSINESS
Romney's Business Bought
Others, Sucked Them Dry, Busted Unions, Used Profits To Buy Other Companies, Suck Them Dry

Makes him well-prepared for foreign policy.
Talking Jesus Action Figure Recalled
Talks too much about the poor.
HEALTH/MEDICINE
Study: Standing Up as
Important as Exercise

Sitting around as deadly as smoking.
 
SCIENCE
Study: Humans Evolved 100 Times
Faster After Introduction of
Agriculture 40,000 Years Ago

Then stopped after introduction of TV.
Chimp Beats Students at
Memory Test

Later, students dissect chimp's brain to find out why.
 
Korean
Scientists
Successfully
Clone Glow-in-
the-Dark Cats

Now world will never run out of them.
 
EDUCATION
Harvard Boosts Financial Aid to All
But the Richest of the Rich

Including rich nitwits whose dads went there.

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