Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – MARCH 3 - 9, 2014
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TECHNOLOGY
Super-Secure Encrypted Cellphone Goes On Sale
Guaranteed impenetrable to hackers, NSA, FBI, CIA, KGB, and anyone over 16.
Futurist: By 2029, Robots Will Be Smarter Than Humans
Unless humans, by 2028, unplug them.
App Automatically Sends Texts to Your Girlfriend to Make Her Think You're Thinking of Her
And when she receives one every hour on the hour saying “I'm thinking of you,” she'll know you care.
 
RELIGION
Plurality of 18 to 30-Year-Olds Now Identify With No Religion
But plan on deathbed conversions.
 
SPORTS
Baseball Bans Home Plate Collisions, Debuts Protective Caps for Pitchers
Official game ball now made by Nerf.
FEATURE
What is this?
10. Louisiana 5. Ohio
9. Oklahoma 4. Alabama
8. Missouri 3. Mississippi
7. Tennessee 2. Kentucky
6. Arkansas 1. West Virginia
A )The most red states in the USA.
B )The places in the country recording the most number of UFO sightings.
C )The 10 most miserable states, according to the Gallup Poll of Well-Being, listed last to first.
Hint: all three could be correct.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Ukraine: Abandoned Yanukovych Estate Opened to Public
Used same decorator as Saddam, Qaddafi.

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